


End of the Beginning

by Mistweaver



Series: The Place Between His Shoulders [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Implied Character Death, Levi is not a cuddler, M/M, future Eren is reflecting on a past memory with commentary pretty much, implied/established relationship, past tense and present tense POV, prelude to series, when he's awake that is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 13:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1781026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistweaver/pseuds/Mistweaver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's cruel, you know. How you can get so used to what you have, that you forget how important it is to you. God, it's cliche, but you really don't know what you have until its gone. So if I knew at that time what was going to happen tomorrow... If I knew...</p><p>If only I knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	End of the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prelude to a reincarnation series I'm working on. I have a lot in mind for it (including music themes for each chapter if you like that depth to it)! I just needed to post something for it. I want to get the ball rolling now that schools out and I'm hoping this will be some motivation. (oh and it will be rated E with flashbacks, regardless of the slow build I have in mind)
> 
> Just a heads up, this prelude is 1st person from Eren's POV but the main series will be 3rd. That way I can write little excerpts for all the side characters in .5 chapters if I feel like it!
> 
> For this little bit, I was actually listening to 'Curtains' by Peter Gabriel (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpXCpmk5xdo). It really got my mind in the mood for the chapter, but then shuffle came on my music and it switched to 'Holding on and Letting Go' by Ross Copperman (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awr_jzijeIU). I felt that the lyrics fit a bit better, but meh... the later chapters are much more accurate.
> 
> So please enjoy and let me know what you think. :)

_Do you ever wish you could change something?_

 

"Eren, for gods sake close the curtains. It's cold as balls outside."

 

"Yeah... in a second."

 

"Eren…"

 

I smirked.

 

"What, you're that desperate to get me into bed? Corporal…" The fluttering eyelashes and swooning actions were enough to make the smaller man stride across the room towards me, hoist me over his shoulder and toss me easily onto the bed. After tugging the curtains closed, a shiver dancing across the chiseled skin of his shoulders, Levi turned on me.

 

"Oh, I like it when you're rough." Pulling my face out of the sheets from where I landed, ass in the air, I winked at him. The sound of my amusement was quickly and successfully smothered by the pillow Levi pressed against my face.

 

"You really are a little shit, you know that?" Even beneath the pillow, I heard the slight amusement that laced his voice.

 

_Do you ever wish you could go back in time and just… change even one moment of your past? I do. Actually, if I could, I would have changed a lot of things._

 

Suddenly, even with the curtains closed, the room fell into a chilled, candle lit silence. I could feel the burn of his eyes as Levi watched me slowly rise from the bed and pull the pillow from my face, all joking aside. I curled over the pillow, bringing my knees to my chest, hoping to draw some sort of comfort from the softness that smelled like _him_. It was hard to relax with the tension in the air, but watching the Corporal try to avoid touching as little of the cold stone as possible with his feet helped ease me. I wasn't comfortable yet, but I did muster up enough courage to speak after a few moments of silence.

 

"Sir-" Levi immediately cut me off, hand in the air as he pointedly met my gaze. "Levi… So, it's alright then?"

 

Not pausing from bedtime routine tasks, Levi glanced over his shoulder to me. "Is what alright?"

 

"Me… being here? Tonight?" I couldn't meet his gaze so my eyes lingered… elsewhere. He sighed, causing my stomach to clench.

 

"You certainly are a needy brat." Much to my disappointment, Levi pulled his nightshirt over his head, shaking out his hair in the process. "Well, I can't have you wandering around the castle in the middle of the night like some nocturnal abnormality 'cause you can't sleep. Might as well tuck you in myself and sing you a lullaby. Just for tonight, alright?"

 

I smiled into the pillow. "That’s what you said last time."

 

"… Pardon?"

 

"N-nothing!"

 

His eyes narrowed slightly, but his tiredness won over his pride, much to my relief. He made his way over to the side of the bed while I pulled the sheets back for him and I to crawl under the covers. He mumbled to himself while pulling the covers to his chin and blew out the candle. I found it cute, but for the love of _god_ , I would never admit it to his face. Surprisingly enough, I did in fact value my life.

 

_If only I'd known. I would have cherished this time so much more…_

 

The sound of his breathing normally lulled me to sleep, but tonight wasn't normal. Tonight was very different. The very air itself felt off to me, making my throat dry up and my breathing louder than it should be. I dreaded falling asleep, even with Levi by my side. I just didn't want to sleep. Not when… When tomorrow was…

 

"Eren. Are you worried about tomorrow? You're not normally this much of a brat before bed." I flinched when he first spoke, but I ended up chuckling silently to myself. Why should I be surprised, when he can always see right through me like this?

 

"Y-Yeah. Yeah I am."

 

"Good. You'd be an idiot if you weren't."

 

Well then.

 

Levi rolled over and turned to watch my face. His own seemed to glow from the small light that slipped between the curtain, and I found I couldn't look away. "With everything I am, I will be there to protect you Eren, I promise. I will protect you until my last breath. You're in my care after all." Levi huffed slightly, a puff of air blowing gently across my hot cheeks. "They will have to bring me down, kicking like a bitch I might add, and keep me there before I will let them take you."

 

_And you did. To the last breath._

 

"Okay, Eren?"

 

"I understand." Oh good, my voice didn't crack. Only when Levi closed his eyes did I let the water pooling in my eyes free.

 

"Good." He harrumphed into his pillow, another cute thing I will never ever mention to him.

 

I was silent for about 30 seconds before I found the courage to speak again. "Thanks."

 

"Mhmm."

 

_Back then, if I knew what was going to happen, I would have held him a little closer that night._

 

_I would have watched his face as he slept, his usual nightmares warded off simply by my presence. I would have played with his hair a bit more, knowing I wouldn't be allowed to if he was awake. I would kiss his nose and his eyes, those gorgeous silver and steel eyes, would open and glare halfheartedly into my own before he would turn on his back. He would let me crawl closer to him, rest my nose against his nape and breathe in everything that was him and him alone. He would threaten my manhood if I happened to sneeze in his hair again, and I would mumble an apology through my smile into his neck. And unknowingly, once his eyes shut tightly and his breathing evened out, he would press back into me, his unmovable stone and impossible challenge that also acted as a convenient bed heater._

_I would have asked him if I was enough; if I had changed anything for him. I would have told him how much he changed me and my world simply because he let me exist at his side.  I would explain that he was my motivation and strength, regardless of the weakness he let slip through his mask when he thought no one was watching._

_I would have told him the words I needed to say and asked him for the words I needed to hear._

_If I knew, my last words to him wouldn't have been, 'good night, Levi'. No, it would have been a different set of three, simple, terrifying words. And I would have meant it with all my heart._

_But I didn't do any of that. I didn't do it simply because I was scared of his answer. I should have listened to my heart and ignored the anxiety and just said it like the adult I claimed to be. That night should have been different for me. It should have encouraged me to say it. But I didn't._

_You see, tomorrow was the day of our biggest mission yet. It was the mission that would change humanity's stand in the war against the Titans. It was the last stand that would be spoken about in the final, dwindling days of hope and peace. It was the mission that we would ultimately fail and it was the mission that sent every one of us to our deaths. And the sad thing is, it wasn't even the Titans that killed us._

_But I guess we should have seen that coming._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So as I said, just a short prelude. I may not update for a bit because I need to make sure the timeline that I have in mind fits and all the plot twists actually work with the plot. Lots of planning! But I'm hoping for a 20+ chapter story. So keep an eye out for it! 
> 
> I think I've decided to call the series 'The Place Between His Shoulders'. The reason why will be explained in the series itself ^.^
> 
> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think! (also, if I have any typos...)


End file.
